


Destroy Me More

by Anonymous



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alpha Suh Youngho | Johnny, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Anal Sex, And then it gets angsty from there, Angst, Guilt, I'm going to hell but omega Mark was worth it, Knotting, M/M, Minor Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Omega Mark Lee (NCT), Porn With Plot, Sibling Incest, Smut, Top Suh Youngho | Johnny, edit: what do u tag one instance of spanking as
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-16 19:47:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29829990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Mark wants to cringe at the sound of it. There was no way he was comfortable with speaking about things like this with his brother—with anyone actually, which was why he had been so stressed from Donghyuck teasing him about it endlessly at work—and hearing Johnny call him omega makes him all kinds of embarrassed. He feels himself flush slightly. “Dude.” He rubs a hand at his face. “Um, yeah. I don’t—like it’s weird. I don’t call you alpha, like. It’s a little you know. Just. No.”Mark gets his heat earlier than expected. But he doesn't expect Johnny to knot him and for it to ruin him for anything else after.
Relationships: Mark Lee/Suh Youngho | Johnny
Comments: 18
Kudos: 136
Collections: Anonymous





	Destroy Me More

**Author's Note:**

> i have no excuse for writing this other than for the smut. i just got obsessed with the idea of omega mark being knotted by johnny, and i couldn't sleep until it became a thing. look im going to hell for probably everything about this, but it was definitely worth it. title is from criminal by taemin. this is far from betaed but the second chapter should be finished sometime soon, im not sure. but enjoy!!

Mark had always not really cared for being an omega. He’d never been a typical omega by any rights—he was at times too confident, or too unsure of himself. Too awkward and not smooth like the other omegas he knew. Not like Donghyuck or Jaemin who were always able to pick up any alpha or beta in the snap of a finger. He’d grew up to a world that looked down on omegas, and had even grown up not rather looking like one at all—his family had always assumed he would be a beta. He’d always been a bit smaller than the rest of his classmates in school, but he was still far from the docile and shy omegas he had grown up hearing about. With his energy, he’d been excited to one day not have to worry about being in rut or heat like he’d thought. Betas didn’t go through any of that, he’d even told Donghyuck once when he’d been a teenager. That was why Mark would one day be a beta because there weren’t really any omegas in his family. Maybe an alpha, but he’d never really filled out or grown like an alpha would. That was a more unlikely shot.

Of course, then he’d woken up one day to slick pooling between his thighs and staining his sheets and an overwhelming needy ache in his gut.

He’d only been sixteen then, but he’d been a late bloomer. Unlike his brother. No one had expected it, him most of all. He’d been so confused and even a little angry. Him, an omega? He’d supposed to be a _beta._ God, he’d even have accepted a rut. That he would not be surprised by at least, given the number of alphas in his family. But an omega—it had been unexpected. Omegas were, well, _omegas_ —he’d never faun over any obnoxious alpha or let anyone else tell him what to do with his life. That day, his entire life had shifted to something he had never expected. And he’d never been entirely sure of how to feel about it.

It’s then that he startles out of his thoughts. He’s just off another day of work, of which Donghyuck had nagged him the entire day. His brother’s voice startles him out of from where he’d been walking into his apartment.

Right. Johnny. He’d forgotten he’d be home. He still wasn’t used to him being there.

“Tough day?” Johnny asks, sitting on his couch and dressed in a casual hoodie. He’s amused as he looks up at Mark, fingers halting on his laptop from where he’d been typing and a light look in his eyes. It’s incredible how much space he manages to take up on the couch with his long legs and limbs. He’s seemingly already made himself comfortable in Mark’s living room, a very Johnny like thing if Mark thought so himself.

“Yeah, sorry, didn’t see you there,” Mark says, rubbing his eyes and walking off to join him on the couch. Johnny easily scoots aside for him to make space for him, making a humming noise as if to noncommittally give him his sympathy. Mark just sags into the couch and finally lets go of the stress of the day. “Dude, Hyuck wouldn’t stop telling me about how I need to find an alpha for my heats again. It was driving me insane, I couldn’t take it.”

Johnny just pats his leg as he goes back to typing on his computer again, even if he sounds like he feels for him. Mark’s eyes gaze over to him to where the line of Johnny’s jaw is visible as he runs an absent hand through his hair, smiling faintly with a wry twist to it. “Ah. I thought you didn’t do that, though?” He tuts, and Mark narrows his eyes at him at the tone of his voice. “Since you’re like one of those independent omegas. I mean, for my little brother.”

Mark punches his arm then, getting Johnny to finally break and laugh from where he was hiding a smirk. He can’t help an eye roll as he groans. “Stop. Ugh. Don’t call me that.”

Johnny seems to raise an eyebrow at him then as he looks at Mark. “What? Call you an omega?”

Mark wants to cringe at the sound of it. There was no way he was comfortable with speaking about things like this with his brother—with anyone actually, which was why he had been so stressed from Donghyuck teasing him about it endlessly at work—and hearing Johnny call him omega makes him all kinds of embarrassed. He feels himself flush slightly. “Dude.” He rubs a hand at his face. “Um, yeah. I don’t—like it’s weird. I don’t call you alpha, like. It’s a little you know. Just. No.”

“Markie,” His brother laughs out at him. “Oh my god. It’s what you are.”

“Look, you just moved in here,” Mark cuts him off desperately. “I’m just saying. I’m actually gonna die if we start calling each other that, hyung.”

As usual, Johnny only seems all too glad to tease him.

“Well, I don’t mind you calling me alpha,” he says. “If that’s what you’re into.”

“Ew, gross,” Mark groans out, laughing despite himself. Leave it to Johnny to make the most inappropriate jokes between them. He’d always done it ever since they were kids. He stands up off the couch at once, leaving Johnny behind to where he was undoubtedly proud of himself for that one. He didn’t know why he’d agreed to let his brother move in with him because his old roommate had moved out. It’d made sense at the time, since he was lonely after Yuta had moved out. But he’d forgotten how his brother was naturally bound to tease him constantly.

“What do you think, do you wanna order something or what, hyung? Or should we actually cook?” He continues from the kitchen, pulling out his phone and peering at the pans in the dish rack. It was looking like it’d be a night in with Johnny. Maybe it’d be like the days when they were younger and they’d eat together in one of their rooms when they’d been near inseparable. He finds he kind of likes the idea of that.

After all, there was no one more familiar to him than Johnny. It was kind of exciting, having his brother live with him. Not that he’d ever say it to his face. But he likes the idea of spending more time with Johnny than just a one off lunch here and there. He’d missed him a little. Even if he was still as a pain in the ass sometimes to Mark as ever.

“Let’s order out,” Johnny calls back to him from the couch. “Kun told me about this really good place that I really want to try.”

Mark agrees with this, thankfully. He doesn’t feel like doing dishes tonight and he’s lazy. Maybe it was a supposed omega thing to want to cook and clean all the time—more of a stereotype, actually—but he’d never been one for cleaning when he could avoid it. And this was sounding perfect to him.

“Okay thank fuck. I really don’t want to cook,” he says as he walks out of the kitchen and gives up, plopping back down onto the couch. Johnny’s put his laptop away—and so Mark takes it as the perfect opportunity to lay his legs on Johnny’s lap. It earns him a thoroughly unimpressed look from where Johnny looks back and forth between his legs and him.

“Mark, I don’t want your stinky feet on me,” he huffs as he pushes his legs off of him. “What kind of house do you think this is?”

“Uh, it’s mine so my rules and my feet,” Mark shoots back at him. He moves his legs back on top of Johnny’s lap, and he knows he’s pushing it but he’s always been like this with Johnny. Most times Johnny lets him do whatever he wants. And besides, he does always lay his legs on the couch like this, Johnny or not. However, Johnny is staring at him right now as if annoyed.

“Hold up, first of all I’m older than you,” Johnny prattles off with irritation. Then he gets a glint in his eye as he stills and stares at Mark, causing him to freeze up from where he’s sat opposite him. He knows that look on Johnny. He tries to move, but it’s too late.

Johnny is on him faster than he can blink. He’s already reached over to hold Mark down and pin him to the couch, and Mark tries to fight him, only to start laughing when there are strong hands tickling his sides right where he’s most ticklish and making him gasp out for air. He whines once it gets too much and tries to smack uselessly against Johnny’s shoulder, giggling and half gasping out.

“Stop! Johnny!” He gets out, struggling under him. Only Johnny doesn’t stop, laughing as he leans over Mark, the two of them closer than before. “Oh my—god!”

“Not ’til you keep your feet off me,” His brother only crows at him, and Mark wants to groan. His brother was torturing him still just like when they were kids. God. “C’mon Mark, just give in.”

Mark’s sides hurt and he’s laughing so hard he’s near tears. He can’t breathe from where Johnny has his thigh in between his and is pressing down on him to keep him still, trying and failing to crawl away from Johnny. “No,” he gasps, determined not to give in. “Stop, please!”

Johnny just sounds smug as he keeps tickling him. “I can be here all night, you know.”

Mark is nearly about to practically pee himself. He’s choking on his laughter. “Okay! Okay, just let me go.”

At last he’s able to breathe and take in large gasps of air once Johnny’s hands on him disappear. Mark just sits there as Johnny looms over him, laughing still as their heads have become closer than he’d initially noticed. His leg is still in between Mark’s thigh, and the two of them lay there for a moment, Mark trying to catch his air. He becomes acutely aware of how big Johnny is around him, how broad his shoulders exactly are. There’s something that flashes through him almost like a strange curl of heat in him for the barest second, Johnny’s face above his all he can see as he looks up dazedly at him, the muscles of his arm close to where he leans himself up near Mark’s head, but it’s gone. In the blink of an eye Johnny lifts himself off of him, still looking smug as he sits himself on the couch. And Mark is left laying there as he tries to blink himself out of whatever just happened.

That—that had never happened before.

“You still whine like when we were kids,” Johnny teases him just then, smirking. And Mark snaps out of it. He sits up, and laughs at his brother as he instead shoves roughly at Johnny’s shoulder.

“And you still are getting none of my food,” Mark tells him. And the two of them dissolve into their usual conversation and Mark is left to forget about the day as the night progresses like any other.

~

“So, Markie, found any alphas yet?” Donghyuck asks him the next day as he clocks in their workplace, the little shop they both worked at. Mark’s behind the counter readying the place ready for the day as he lifts his head up from where he had been cleaning off the counter with a rag.

“Will you stop asking me that?”

Hyuck only smirks at him. “I’m just saying,” he singsongs, pulling his uniform on over his shirt. “I know your heat is coming up.”

He only knew such a thing because him and Mark always tended to sync up with heats. Whenever his heat was approaching, Donghyuck often gleefully reminded Mark that his was coming as well. It was eerie. “And it’s none of your business,” he says. His friend pouts at him. “I live with Johnny now anyway. It’ll make it awkward to bring some random alpha over.”

Donghyuck sidles up to him, rolling his eyes.

“So kick him out.”

His brother had just moved in with him. Mark couldn’t do that to him. When Yuta had lived with him, he’d not bothered Mark or tried to not be in the house as much during his heats. Even if he had helped out Mark with a few of his heats in the end. At least that had been something to miss for Mark—as an alpha, Yuta had been willing to help him not suffer through them alone. It’d been nice, a no strings attached thing. Even if Yuta had ended up moving back to Japan to visit his family for the year. He didn’t know how Johnny handled other omega’s heats, but he was sure it was fine.

“No,” Mark says. “I’ll just use my toys. It’ll be fine. Also, wait what, why am I talking about this with you?”

Donghyuck cackles. “Because I’m your best friend. Who else are you gonna talk about alpha dicks with?”

Mark swats at him. “Ugh, dude. Go away.”

“Not until you tell me you’re finding someone to actually fuck and not the same old toy you use. That thing is probably all dusty, hyung.”

That earns Donghyuck a harsh shove on the shoulder as Mark groans. “Will you be quiet and get to work?”

Donghyuck is still laughing at him when Mark walks away from him, not ready for another day of being moody from his coming heat and the stress of enduring Donghyuck’s teasing.

~

That night, Mark gets home to sigh once he sees the apartment empty. Johnny must have been out. When he sends him a text, he’s surprised to see that Johnny won’t be back until later that night. He would have to eat dinner by himself then. He was fine with it.

He’s just resting in bed when he hears the front door open and close from where Johnny must be coming home late—he hears him call out his name, but Mark is too tired to even bother. His body was a bit sore from the day, the sheets around him soft. He felt achy and exhausted all over. Before he knows it, he’s already drifted off to sleep and snuggled deeper into his bed.

However, his sleep doesn’t last long. He wakes up later covered in sweat as his whole body is on fire.

Mark sits up sharply at once, wincing when his sore belly screams at him for the movement. His skin feels too hot under his clothes, an overwhelming ache settled deep inside his bones as he gasps out at it. His heat. He’d never felt one this strong before. It was—why had it come early? That never happened. He can barely think under the wave of burning need running through him, and he falls back onto the sheets as he writhes under it. It’s with frantic hands that he pulls them off of him, panting out in desperation. His cock was already leaking through his sweats, begging to be touched. He doesn’t even have to feel under him to know he’s soaked his pants from the slick.

Mark lets out a whine then at the strength of the pain washing over him. He felt—he was _hot_ , a need aching in him so strongly that it had him struggling to think past it. Tears begin pooling in his eyes from the sheer torture of it. Whatever he’d felt in his heats before, it had never been like this. His body was crying out painfully to be touched, to be anything other than empty.

Soon, there is a knock at his door. Mark lets out another cry as he tries to fight the heat trying to overpower him, but he only registers a faint voice before a scent enters his nose. And he breathes it in like a man starved. He’s not even aware the door has opened until the scent comes closer, stronger. And it’s enough to have him closing his eyes in relief and for more slick to wet his already slippery thighs.

_Alpha._

His mind crows in pleasure at the scent, Mark’s back arching at the mere smell of it filling his senses. His entire body rejoices at it. An alpha. A big, strong alpha to take care of him. When he opens his eyes, it’s with absolute need.

“Mark—are you okay?” A familiar voice says, before Mark’s eyes fall on their familiar figure in the dark. Then he watches as they stop and still as if struck. It’s hard to see in the room, but in his hazed vision he sees a tall alpha before him not touching him and he moans out pitifully.

“Alpha,” he begs, and it’s like something snaps. There’s a feral growl and he’s suddenly being pushed down against the bed, his body hissing out a satisfied and excited _yes_ at the feel of an alpha around him. He could cry. There are lips against his trying to devour him and his clothes are being torn off and he’s falling apart. He can’t think. Can only feel the aching emptiness inside of him and a strong alpha taking care of him.

“So empty,” he cries out, trying to paw at the alpha’s clothes above him, trying to get them off. He’s being shushed before there are no longer lips on his and he can see the alpha above him.

Only it’s not just an alpha. It’s Johnny.

“Johnny,” he gasps out, surprised for a moment before any coherent thought is lost in the frantic haze taking over him once again. The instinctual feeling of something wrong and bad in his belly dissipating. Johnny was—what was he again?

The smell of pure alpha is all he can breathe in. _An alpha, that’s right_ , he barely thinks before he’s whining for more. A taller, stronger alpha laid out over him. By the way Johnny looks at him with his eyes glazed over, some instinctual part of him registers that this is not his normal Johnny. Mark has seen alphas before—in rut. Yes, that was it. Rut. Once his mind thinks of the word, he becomes desperate for even more. An alpha in rut was even better. Much stronger.

An alpha in rut could take care of him.

“You smell so—“ Johnny whispers then, voice deeper and rough. Like he wanted to ruin him. He seems affected by the strong sweet smell of Mark’s heat in the air. “Mark—“

Mark arches up under him, an inch away from sobbing. He was aching everywhere. Needing to be touched. It’s with tears running down his cheeks and sweat on his skin that he looks up at Johnny, wanting him so bad he couldn’t breathe. “Please,” he tries, voice breaking. “I’m so empty. Need a knot, please.”

This has Johnny tearing off the last of their clothes. He cares about Mark, he thinks victoriously. He doesn’t want him to hurt. Once they’re free, Mark pulls a possessive hand over his back and rakes his nails over the skin lightly, delighted in the warm feel of him under his hands. Johnny doesn’t hesitate to lift him up and pull him further up the bed—the omega in him preening in satisfaction. He spread his legs unthinkingly, a mess of precome all over his own stomach. God, Johnny was so strong. It turned him on that he could manhandle Mark.

Johnny practically growls out as he leans down to kiss at Mark’s neck and mouth at all his sensitive spots. Mark lets him, Johnny’s mouth on him eager and claiming. He throws his head back to moan as Johnny’s lips bite and suck hard at him enough for it to hurt. He liked it like that. He liked it rough in bed, the pain enough to have his cock twitching pitifully from where it sat on his belly neglected.

“Mine,” Johnny utters lowly then, pulling off of him to kiss him again. Their mouths meet in a rough kiss as Mark keens, trying desperately to hike his hips up to no avail. He was going to burst.

“Johnny,” he whimpers out.

“Shh, you want my cock? Okay, okay, I’ll give it to you,” Johnny promises, and Mark bites his lip so hard it nearly bleeds. He nods frantically, tears in his eyes. “Such a pretty omega. So needy just for me.”

Mark gasps as he realizes what Johnny is doing. The warm head of a cock is brushing at his rim, at where he’s soaked like no other. His entire body tenses in anticipation, and when Johnny at last presses in it’s glorious. His mouth falls open as he feels the ridges and veins on Johnny’s cock from where he’s stretching him open slowly, much bigger and thicker than any alpha he’s had before. For a moment, he doesn’t even know if it’ll all fit in him. Every nerve of his feels alive and tingling with pleasure as he feels Johnny push in more and his eyes honest to God roll back in his head.

A high keen comes out of his throat, broken. He feels broken from the feel of Johnny’s cock. He’s never felt anything so good, so _big._

So _alpha._

Johnny pushes all in to the hilt then, before sliding out and back in slowly. Testingly. He’s groaning too as Mark scrambles for anything to hold onto, his breath caught in his throat. His hands are grasping at Johnny’s shoulders as he cries out once Johnny begins thrusting into him. Everything feels so hazy and pleasurable that Mark gets lost in it.

He doesn’t even realize he’s already came until he’s sobbed his way through an orgasm, but Johnny doesn’t stop. And neither does Mark want him to. Johnny moans as he swivels his hips into him hard and fast enough for the sound of their skin meeting to echo in the room, and Mark loves it. It’s filthy. He’s clenching down on him and trying to get Johnny to go faster, letting out broken noises as he sobs. He’s being driven out of his mind as Johnny fucks him.

“A—Alpha,” he cries out, and Johnny reaches a hand up to tug at his cock, making him spasm and writhe under him from the overwhelming sensation. He can feel the beginnings of a knot growing in him and with Johnny’s hands gripping at his waist to hold him still he’s crumbling apart like it’s nothing.

Johnny’s coming fast, he’s faintly aware—he’d been with alphas before in ruts. With this knot, there’d be more. The mere thought has Mark’s mouth watering in anticipation.

“Mark,” Johnny gasps, thrusting into him quicker and more erratic, growing close to the edge. He grips at one of Mark’s thighs from where it’s spread out beside him, as if it was his. The sight of his long fingers gripping Mark’s pale thigh like he owned it is enough to spur Mark even more.

Johnny’s knot swells and swells into him even though his hips still grind into him, a moan caught in Mark’s throat. He’d never felt so full. So stretched.

He’s spilled all over his stomach again once Johnny stops moving inside of him, his knot stretching him. It’s enough to sate the emptiness that had been in him. He doesn’t realize he’s out of it until Johnny is petting his hair and pressing kisses to his lips, soothing him once he comes to. Mark can’t help a sigh of relief as he clenches around where they’re connected, the spurts of Johnny’s come inside of him nearly making him float out of his skin and purr.

“You’re okay, I’ve got you,” Johnny whispers to him. And Mark relaxes into it, kissing him back. Johnny’s lips are so full against his.

“Feel so full.” The words come out in a dazed sigh. “Mmm. You’re so big. So strong.” He’s barely aware of the words coming out of his mouth.

Johnny’s knot swells down after a few minutes, and Mark whines when he pulls out of him, leaving him empty once more. It’s only when Johnny is moving them to have Mark sitting on top of his lap that he realizes what he’s doing as he enters him again. The feeling of him sliding in him again is enough to have Mark getting hard once more and sighing out blissfully.

He was beginning to love Johnny’s cock. The omega in him didn’t want to ever not have it inside him again.

“You can ride me, babe, c’mon,” Johnny urges, and Mark doesn’t need to be told twice. He’d ride him like there was no tomorrow gladly. He bites his lips as he begins raising himself up on Johnny’s cock, the angle making it deeper and more intense. It takes all the energy he has in him to do it, but it’s worth it once he starts bouncing himself against Johnny’s thighs as Johnny thrusts up into him.

He’s nearly drooling at the feel of him fucking up into him. “So good,” he whines out breathlessly. “Think—think I’m in love with your cock.”

“You are?” Johnny says. “Think you can take more of my knot, huh? Think you deserve it?”

Mark sobs, the cock inside of him hitting his prostate perfectly. “Yes. Yes. I—want it.”

A hand grabs at Mark’s ass and slaps it, jolting him and making his cock let out a weak spurt of precome. There’s a look of desire that he’s never seen on Johnny’s face that makes him feel hot all over. “Good boy. God, I love your ass. Mmm? What do you think, if you make me come I’ll eat you out. And you can have my knot.”

The idea of Johnny between his thighs and eating him out makes him dizzy. Mark moans out and tries to grind his hips faster, his breath hitching as he approaches his high. “Please,” he whimpers.

The darkened lust in Johnny’s eyes turns him on even more. Makes him feel wanted, desired. Mark can’t contain his gasps when Johnny’s cock hits the spot inside of him over and over, overwhelming him. He’s covered in sweat, working himself onto his cock and flushing because of Johnny watching him. It feels dirty and somewhat strangely wrong in a way he can’t remember, Johnny watching him get off on his cock, but Mark’s fucked out mind doesn’t care.

Not when he’d never felt so amazing in his life.

“You’re so beautiful,” Johnny whispers then, and Mark melts under it. The sound of Mark’s thighs slapping against his own are lewd. “Didn’t know you were so good at taking cock. You’re insatiable, aren’t you?”

Something hot flutters in Mark’s stomach as he starts to twitch under his coming orgasm. Johnny’s apparent dirty mouth was doing all kinds of things to him. He wasn’t going to last.

“Johnny,” he cries out as he reaches his peak and he spills all over himself helplessly, Johnny’s hips still working up into him and leaving his poor rim sensitive. It feels like he comes forever, screaming silently as he clenches around him, cheeks wet. “Hyung.”

“You gonna take my knot? You want it?” Johnny’s gripping his waist as he keeps going into Mark, some kind of alpha stamina Mark has never seen before. It’s the hottest thing Mark has ever seen. It’s too much. And yet Mark loves it. He moans weakly, feeling the knot on Johnny’s cock growing. There’s a groan from Johnny as the knot pushes past his rim with force, and sinks in him. It feels like heaven.

“Yes, yes, want it so bad,” he breathes. The aching in his belly eases at the knot inside of him. He squeezes around it just to feel it, leaving Johnny grasping his waist as if to still him and letting out a noise. He feels a satisfaction down to his bones. “Oh.”

Johnny’s mouth is demanding on his as they kiss, and Mark wonders dazedly if he’s always tasted like this. It feels like he’s tasting a forbidden fruit that he couldn’t get enough of now that he’d had a bite. Something wrong but so addicting. So good.

And he wanted more. It’s only as Johnny’s knot has gone down enough to slip out of him that Mark finds himself laid on his stomach, Johnny’s hands on his thighs and running over the swell of his ass. He knows he has nothing but come and slick leaking out of his hole and down his thighs, a moan erupting out of him at the way he feels ready to burst at just Johnny’s touch. A finger slips into him, then two and three, and he’s crying into the sheets as Johnny’s hot tongue licks out to tease at his entrance. And then everything becomes more hazy as he’s lost in Johnny’s fingers and mouth.

~

At first, Mark wakes to a pleased sensation lingering in his body. Even if he’s beyond sore and tired, he feels so contented that for a moment he thinks that he’s definitely had a good dream. He sighs as he opens his eyes, the scent in the air hitting him first. It’s nothing he’s ever smelled before—a spicy earthy smell mixed in with his own powerful vanilla heat scent. Something that he likes the smell of, he finds, as he stirs and begins to sit up in the sheets, rubbing his eyes. Huh. He’s naked. He must’ve been hit by his preheat pretty bad last night.

He’d never had a dream like that, he thinks. Wow. He must really be getting his heat if he was dreaming about alphas.

A groan comes from beside him. Mark’s brows furrow as he turns his head, confused. What the hell?

He lets out a scream as he sees who is beside him.

It’s Johnny. His brother in the sheets beside him, who happens to also be naked and covered in marks on his chest and throat. Holy fuck. The smell of rut had been was what lingering in the air along with his heat. Mark’s heart stops in his chest.

He had— _no—_ there was no way he had—not with _Johnny_ —

Johnny wakes then, opening his eyes blearily and frowning as he lifts his head up off a pillow. “Mark, why the hell are you screaming,” he groans out, putting his face back into the pillow. Mark’s eyes widen at the sight of his bare back. It’s covered with faint pink scratches.

“Johnny, what the fuck are you doing in my bed?” Mark’s never sounded so panicked in his life. He gets up off the bed only to stop when he realizes he is completely naked. And to his horror, there’s sticky come between his legs. Along with purpling bruises littered among the skin on his thighs.

He’s going to have a heart attack.

“What do you mean your bed,” Johnny moans out tiredly. Mark just stares at him before he stumbles over himself trying to grab any nearby clothes.

“Mark?” Johnny asks. Mark is too busy trying not to freak out and hyperventilate.

There was no way—he winces as he moves too fast and a sharp pain shoots through him. The telltale ache inside of him is scaring him. He doesn’t want it to mean what he fears it means.

“Fuck, I’m so tired,” his brother continues from the bed. Mark’s got a pair of pants on already, trying to grab the closest shirt he can find. It’s only when he sees the state of the sheets on the bed that he stops and dies a little inside.

They’re stained with a clear liquid that is unmistakable. He’d known what slick stains looked like ever since he’d first presented. He also knew very well what come stains looked like.

Mark is about to maybe cry or scream again. There was no way this was real.

He runs out of the room immediately, leaving Johnny’s confused voice behind. By the time he’s stumbled in the shower, he’s breathing so quickly that he just stands there under the hot water. And tries to scrub off his body frantically, only to let out a noise when he brushes a hand between his thighs hesitantly and finds come dried there. It leads all the way up to his hole, and he starts shaking as he realizes this could only mean one thing.

Mark tries to shut the thought out of his mind. There was no way that he could have fucked his—his _brother_. Not Johnny. That he had his come on him.

It had to be a dream. He washes himself clean just to erase any ideas. There’s something lingering under his skin that burns a lot like shame and horror that he refuses to acknowledge for his own sanity.

When he gets out of the shower, he finds Johnny still in his room. Only he’s sat up in the sheets and staring around him with painfully wide eyes. He’s still naked, albeit so is Mark who is only half covered by a towel which makes it even worse.

“Why am I in your bed?” Johnny asks slowly in a quiet voice he’s never used around Mark. He sounds genuinely shaken. “Dude. Why does it smell like that in here?”

Mark flinches. The air in his room smelled strongly of sex and a clouded mixture of their powerful scents. It smelled exactly like what he dreaded they had done. There was no way Johnny would not know what it was.

He can’t look at Johnny. Instead, he snatches a few random clothes from his dresser and rushes out of the room back to the bathroom. He didn’t want to dress in front of his brother.

His heat, he thinks in panic. There was no other explanation for something like this. His heat had hit him last night much earlier than usual. He knew it for certain—he always marked his heats on his calendar, they always fell on a certain day of the month. But he was days ahead of his expected time. There was no knowing how it had triggered so early.

It’d never done this when he’d lived with Yuta. They’d come on a timely manner and he’d never had a problem with it, even when Yuta had been helping him himself through them. Mark throws his clothes on hurriedly, too many thoughts racing through his head to count. Even if he’d had his heat, it should have been fine. Johnny shouldn’t have been too bothered by the scent of it coming from his room. Yuta had said it wasn’t too overwhelming as long as he’d stayed on his side of the apartment.

The scents in his room, though—it hadn’t been just his own heat. The undeniable scent of rut was in the air. That—coupled with his own heat, a rut would—that would—

Mark can’t breathe. There was no way he’d had sex with his brother just because their rut and heat had been triggered by each other. Johnny had not mentioned anything about a rut or seemed like he was expecting one either.

He puts his hands on his head as he walks out of the bathroom, needing some fresh air. Something. Anything. He was going to actually lose his mind. Or possibly break down. Because he’d possibly done the unthinkable.

He’s sitting in the kitchen trying to contain his trembling when Johnny eventually walks back in. He’s shirtless as he strolls in, and Mark winces once he comes in with all of the marks on his broad chest bright as day.

Had he made those? He thinks with sudden fear. “You took a shower,” is all Johnny notes.

Mark doesn’t answer him. He can’t.

He’s not sure how to even go about something like this.

“Mark, we need to talk about this,” Johnny continues, and everything feels so horrible once he looks up to see the uneasy look on Johnny.

“Talk about what?” His laugh is nervous, careful. A little too high. “We have nothing to, um, talk about.”

A pause as Johnny hesitates. “We kinda do. I—I really don’t know what to say here. Fuck, I don’t even know how this shit happens.”

“Dude,” Mark stutters out. “Look, let’s just. We can pretend none of that ever happened, right? Right?”

It’s the only thing he can get out without his voice cracking.

Johnny looks relieved. Mark finds it hard to look at him still with the fact that he’s still fucking shirtless. If he squints an eye, there is a suspicious looking white spot on Johnny’s stomach that he can’t look at for too long without feeling possibly ill. Or horrible. He can’t decide which.

Fuck, he was going to need therapy for this kind of thing, wasn’t he?

“Yeah. Yeah. We can do that. It was just a weird fucked up one time thing. I mean, that’s nothing. You’re still my little brother,” Johnny tries to joke, but it comes out flat when Mark instinctively gets a very abrupt and very vivid flashback from last night. Of Johnny calling him tight and good for him when he’d had Mark on all fours. It’s so strong that Mark flinches. Worse enough, despite the guilt and shame bubbling in his stomach he’s horrified to find that his dick still twitches in his pants in some kind of muscle memory. It’s enough to have him feeling so ashamed of himself that he wants to die then and right there.

“Yeah,” Mark tries weakly, feeling vaguely ill. “Just a one time thing. Thank God.” He sounds nearly insane when he laughs, and the sad thing is that he doesn’t feel very far from it.

“I’m just gonna, um, go to work,” Johnny says after an awkward long pause, sounding deeply uncomfortable. It’s something that makes Mark feel terrible. Johnny has never been uncomfortable around him once in his life, not even when he’d taken the news of Mark’s first heat in stride and taken him to help buy him toys and supplies afterward. Not even that time Mark had accidentally heard him getting off in the shower when Mark had been sixteen and it’d been obvious Mark had heard him because he couldn’t be around Johnny for a day after that. Mark can’t really think of a single time. It’s not a good thing considering how stilted Johnny sounds now. “Heads up, I’m taking a shower.”

“Okay.”

Johnny doesn’t really look at him when he leaves to the bathroom. But Mark doesn’t either. And it’s then that he puts his hands on his face.

He was going to fucking lose it.

~

The most ironic thing about the whole ordeal is that Mark’s heat still lasts for three more days. And so does Johnny’s rut. And yet, the two of them refuse to even be near each other in the apartment. It’s the most painful thing Mark has ever experienced in his life for many reasons. For one, he and Johnny can’t really be in the same room without smelling each other anymore. The first time it happens, he watches as Johnny catches a whiff of his heat scent walking into the kitchen while grabbing some water and completely freezes up then and there. His eyes blow out and his muscles do this intense thing where he stiffens up. Mark’s seen alphas who have been affected by the smell of an omega in heat before, but it’s a whole another level seeing it on Johnny. He is forced to grab the snack he wanted and dash out of the room just to avoid him. It’d taken an embarrassing amount of slick coming out of him to get him to realize his body actually craved Johnny again, horribly enough. It’d also taken Mark riding his usual toy to tears to realize how empty he still felt. How much it hurt for him to be without a real knot.

At one point, he’d nearly gone mad with it. It’s the worst heat he’s ever gone through, for sure. He swears the smell of alpha lingers in his sheets for days, and he’s so out of it in his heat that he fingers himself over and over trying to bury his nose in the sheets and soak it in. Trying to get even just a hint of relief. It’s only when he’s sated and covered in his own come later that he realizes what he’s done. It’s enough to have him scrubbing his skin red later like it’ll erase the fact that he still can smell Johnny on him no matter what he does.

It’s literally torture. Worst of all, Mark’s body has no sense of what has gone on at all. To his inner omega, it only longs back for the alpha it had gotten a taste of. Before it’d been ripped away. It has no sense of right or wrong at all. To him, the scent of Johnny’s rut he smells sometimes when he leaves his room for food is what a part of him craves even though it shouldn’t. It really shouldn’t. He hears groans and grunts coming from Johnny’s locked door sometimes, and it leaves shivers down his spine because he still remembered the way Johnny had made those sounds when he’d been—

_No_. No. He was stopping there. If he could, he’d erase all his memories of that night. It’s just his luck that they pop up randomly like his own mental film reel of the things he should have never done.

There was just no way he was ever coming back from this.

Thankfully, his heat finishes. And he can finally go back to work and not have to be stuck in the same house as his brother. It’s the first thing he jumps at in some attempt to make him feel normal again. He really is going insane.

He’s so jumpy that when Ten comes in for his shift along with Donghyuck the first thing he does is nearly jump out of his skin when Ten lays a hand on his shoulder. “Markie! Oh hey, sorry for startling you. You’re back already?”

Mark feels the blood run out of his face. He’d tried covering up any marks he’d had on his neck and sprayed a lot of cologne on to hopefully mask any leftover scents on him. He had hoped no one would notice the unusual timing of his heat.

“Yeah, my heat came early,” he gets out weakly. At least Ten would understand. He was an omega just like him—which Mark knew well since Johnny had even once mentioned he’d helped out Ten with his heats every once in a while. But then that has him going still in horror. That meant Ten had known his brother’s dick just like he had. They’ve shared a dick. And not just that, but Johnny’s. He was suddenly going to be very nauseous.

Ten, luckily, doesn’t notice his impending sickness. “Your heat came early? What? Yours is never early,” he notes with surprise. Then he seems to squint his eyes at Mark and sniff at the air a bit. His eyes widen. “No way. Is that an alpha I smell on you? It’s like really faint.”

“An alpha?” Donghyuck speaks up nearby from where he’s just walked in from the backroom. He looks way too interested in their conversation already as he walks right up to smell Mark’s neck despite Mark protesting and trying to shove him off. His face lights up as he stares at Mark with a grin. “I can still smell one on you. You didn’t say you were gonna actually find someone!”

Mark steps away from the both of them in his panic. His hackles were raising at the fact that everyone was suddenly sniffing him. “That’s because I didn’t.”

“Liar, you totally got some,” Donghyuck shoots down. Then he smirks as he cocks his head at him. “So was it good or what?”

“You spent your heat with an alpha?” Ten joins in. “I didn’t know you did that ever since Yuta.”

Mark wants to die. He is seriously considering leaving the room just to escape this horrific conversation.

“I didn’t. I spent it with no one,” he says. Then he turns to ignore them as he opens the door for a customer. “Hi, welcome! How can I help you?”

It’s just his luck that the rest of the day he has to endure teasing from his friends any time the word alpha is even breathed around the store.

~

There’s no word to describe the kind of situation Mark and Johnny have found themselves in. There really truly isn’t. Mark has tried. He’s asked himself what to do in a situation like this, but he realizes he’s—very hopefully—the only one in the world that has done something like this. And not even intentionally too. He’d never even had an inclination to cry out for his brother’s knot like he’d done, much as he tries not to remember it.

He briefly considers the idea of a going to a therapist, but that idea is laughable. There was no one he was ever talking to about this. Absolutely no one. He didn’t even talk to Johnny about it, and for God’s sake his brother had been the other person who’d taken part in it. There wasn’t much Mark could do here except maybe take his own advice and try to forget it ever happened. Try to bury it somewhere it would never surface again. But there’s one problem with that: it’s incredibly hard.

It’s like now that he’s seen Johnny very naked and very vividly felt him in him it’s very hard to go back from something like that. One day Johnny comes back from work and Mark finds himself weirdly staring at Johnny’s lips and remembering how they’d felt on his. It’s not something he’s ever willing to admit to another living soul. Because it’s fucking awful.

Eventually, slowly the two of them try to get back to normal. Mark keeps working to distract himself from how he still felt nervous about going back home to his brother, and Johnny is nice to him when he does come home. It’s obvious he tries to treat Mark the same the hardest he can, even if it strains them sometimes. They almost go back to their old dynamic if it weren’t for the times like when Mark wears a pair of shorts around the house and he catches Johnny staring a little too much or when he calls Donghyuck alpha over the phone as a joke and Johnny hears it and accidentally spills his coffee. It’s the little things that they try to ignore that have Mark tripping up the most.

It wasn’t as if he found Johnny that attractive—yeah, his brother was objectively very attractive. He was a popular man for a reason, and had never had trouble telling Mark about his hookups. But he’d never thought of him like that at all. He was aware his brother was someone other people would consider hot. Or sexy. Unfortunately, he’d heard it all before. But that’d never been to _Mark_. Until he’d apparently found him attractive enough to willingly spread his legs for him and then all hell had broken loose.

He wonders if it’s a fluke. A mere biology thing that fucked up considered the two of them were who they were. These things had to happen somewhere. Sure, hopefully very far away from Mark, but somewhere. It was just a little sick that he wasn’t sure anymore if he was attracted to Johnny or not and that wasn’t okay at all considering he couldn’t even answer that.

A month passes. Mark gets suggestions from Donghyuck to go out and try someone to bring home, since he apparently looks so stressed these days. Mark doesn’t have the heart to tell him that it’s because he doesn’t sleep well as much. Every time he closes his eyes it’s some form of Johnny he sees behind his eyelids.

One night he does at least try out some of Donghyuck’s advice—he goes out to a club, tries to pull and ends up in a bathroom on his knees sucking some guy’s cock in his mouth like it’ll cure him. Except the cock in his mouth isn’t as long or quite as thick as Johnny’s had been. He’s sucking off some alpha and trying to enjoy himself but in the end he can’t even enjoy it because all he can think of is how it isn’t quite like Johnny’s. If there was one thing he still remembered it was that he had sucked off Johnny until he couldn’t even fit all of him in his mouth. This hadn’t been even close, and it upsets him beyond belief that _this_ is what he’s being tortured with. He even brings the guy home and lets him fuck him, only to lie in his bed afterwards empty and still not satisfied. He felt like he was being ruined. Because there was surely no other explanation for this. For why this was happening to him.

This was not something that happened to people. Most of all to Mark. Because it couldn’t be fucking happening. The fact that it was happened to be the final nail in the coffin driving him crazy.

Fact: Mark gets his heat every three months. This means he gets it four times a year. So once his heat is over, he won’t have it for a while. Another month soon passes, and whatever going on between him and Johnny finally settles down back to complete normal and not the awkward stage it had been before. Johnny sees him bring the one random alpha from the club home one night, and doesn’t say anything. Even if his normal spiced coffee scent strangely smells a little burnt and acidic the next day before it’s back to normal again. Mark is a little too wary to question it. He wasn’t going to be the one between them to bring up things and make it weird again. Not when they’d worked so hard to solidly return back to their typical relationship.

They even start movie nights with each other where they sit in the living room and watch whatever show they were binging together—which that Mark doesn’t mind when they touch then. He and Johnny often cuddle together when watching, and it helps restore the relaxed air they always had before. Helps them feel more like Johnny and Mark. Mark doesn’t find it so hard to laugh or get awkward when Johnny teases him relentlessly like he’s always done. It feels comforting almost, and it’s a plus that he gets to enjoy Johnny’s scent up and close. There was something about it that soothed him despite how every cell in him told he probably shouldn’t. It wasn’t like he’d ever admit it to anyone.

It’s one night that they’ve watched a show late into the night that they fall asleep on each other—Johnny’s arm is even wrapped around his shoulder when Mark stirs awake long after their show has shut off. He’s just lifting his head off of Johnny’s chest and yawning when he hears something soft mumbled from Johnny’s lips that he almost thinks is imagined first.

Only it’s something that has him freezing.

“Mark,” he hears whispered softly so clearly that for a second he sits straight up thinking Johnny has awoken. But Johnny just lays there, sleeping still and lightly snoring away. Mark stares at him, surprised. Until he sees movement out of the corner of his eyes where Johnny’s moving his hips slightly in his sleep. And is very hard in his pants.

It takes a second for it to click. Was he dreaming about— _Mark_? Mark’s eyes widen as he watches Johnny remain peacefully asleep. Except every now and then his limbs twitch and he lets out a quiet groan that sounds rather familiar to Mark.

Mark stiffens. He doesn’t know what to do here. He tries to inch away from Johnny’s arm on him, but it tightens around his shoulder.

Then the worst possible thing that could happen happens.

Johnny moans, and Mark’s body betrays him. He gets hard in his pants to his horror.

Oh fuck. Not this. Not _this_. Not his brother—

He snaps, getting himself off the couch and near tearing Johnny off of him. Out of the corner of his eyes he sees Johnny startling awake just as he’s bolting to his room. But it’s too late. Mark is still fattening up in his pants, and he can hear Johnny’s confused voice coming from the living room. This time when he calls Mark’s name it’s full of puzzlement. It almost sounds innocent.

Mark crumbles, falling to his knees on the floor in his room. Never has so much shame ran through him. He thinks he’s being tortured. Ran through a test. Because there was no other way any of this made sense.

_Why me?_ He wants to plead. _Why Johnny?_

Eventually, he hears the sounds of Johnny shutting off the tv and padding off to his side of the apartment. To his bed. Far from Mark. And Mark sits on the floor still until his erection wills itself away. Now that there was nothing but guilt and agonizing shame wilting it down.

The next morning, he’s aware he looks awful. He’d caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror before leaving for work earlier than usual just to avoid Johnny, and he had looked like he hadn’t slept at all. Which he hadn’t. But still, the fact that he looked it was a bad sign enough.

“Are you okay? You look really exhausted,” Jungwoo comments to him when he’s made himself busy at work for a while. Mark looks up from where he’d been restocking a shelf to where Jungwoo is watching him as if he was about to keel over any second.

“Just couldn’t sleep last night,” Mark tells him, drawn. He figures maybe a half truth is better than anything. Better than lying like he was so used to doing to himself. “Johnny and I stayed up last night watching a show.”

_And then he moaned my name in his sleep and I prayed all night so I wouldn’t be hard from it anymore_ , his mind finishes for him. _And then I looked at my thighs in the shower this morning just for any last bruise he’d left on my body. Like it hasn’t been months since he’s touched me._

There was something wrong with Mark. He was sick, and he probably needed help. Badly. Jungwoo looks at him sympathetically and pats his shoulder as if unaware of any of this.

“That’s rough,” Jungwoo says kindly. Mark isn’t sure he deserves such nice things said to him right now. “Don’t stay up so late, eh? Tell Johnny hyung to go away next time. Tell him he can watch any shows he wants without you. Brothers are so annoying.”

Mark can’t speak. He tries to, opens his mouth and just nods blankly instead when no words come out. Jungwoo leaves him with one last pitiful look and goes to his own duties, and Mark is left like that for the rest of the day. Exhausted and trapped in his own thoughts.

At least until he’s clocking out in the backroom and catches some of Ten’s chatter to Jungwoo that he overhears, his coworkers sat away talking with their uniforms off. Mark stops on his way out once he hears them call a bye to him and then hears the one name that stops his heart.

“Johnny said he would,” Ten is saying. “I mean, it’s so last minute but he said he’d do it. Thank God.”

Mark isn’t aware he’s speaking up until he hears his own voice coming out of his throat. “Do what?” The others startle and stare at him. He just stands there until Ten laughs and winks at him.

“Don’t mind me, I know it grosses you out hearing about your brother,” Ten replies. “I was just telling Jungwoo that my heat is coming up. Johnny hyung is gonna help me out with it, since Yukhei is out of town. He’s the only alpha I can think of that can do it so last minute.”

Mark feels sick. He feels like he’s actually going to be ill, and the instinctive reaction he shows on his face must be obvious since Jungwoo and Ten just look at him and laugh, assuming he’s disgusted. For some reason, he’s upset. Johnny and Ten together—he tries to process it and it’s failing horribly. He doesn’t know why the image makes him so angry and disgusted and a hundred other emotions he can’t name. Maybe it’s the way he remembers Johnny calling out _mine_ in the distant back of his head. And then it’s the fact that he’s feeling nauseous because he should not be fucking thinking any of this.

There were not normal thoughts.

His friend and his brother—it shouldn’t have him choked up, but it does. And it makes him disgusted with himself. Mark tries to contain himself and lowers his eyes from the other two, suddenly drained. “Oh. Um, let me know if you need me to be out the house. Sorry. I’m not feeling so well. I’ll see you guys later.”

“You’re still tired? Oh, I hope you feel better,” Jungwoo offers. He waves weakly at the two of them going out the door as he tries to not make eye contact with them. Their faces look worried. He ignores it.

“Bye, honey!” Ten calls, and Mark hates that he hates his voice right now.

He hates himself most of all.

~

There is one solid cure that he can think of to fix him. To help him not be so wrong in the head and conflicted with everything about himself. Alcohol. He asks Donghyuck if he wants to go out for drinks with him, which his friend never turns down obviously. It’s when they’re at a bar and they’re several drinks in that Donghyuck starts railing into him, as observant and blunt as he always is.

“You’ve been looking so tired lately,” he tells him. “Is this why you’re drinking?”

“Life is just shitty, that’s why I’m drinking,” Mark coughs out to him. Then he drinks down another shot. “Can’t I just drink and have a good time with you?”

“Yes, when you don’t look so down,” Donghyuck says. And he stares at Mark like he can see right through him. “Cheer up, Markie. We’re young and alphaless. We’re basically free to do whatever the hell we want.”

Something in Mark deflates at the mention of that. Alphaless. That was a good word to describe how he felt these days. He felt like he’d gotten a taste of a true alpha and he’d been wandering around blind afterwards trying to seek out something that even felt a fraction of it. Trying to find something to ease the ache inside of him.

“Maybe I want an alpha,” he blutters out to Donghyuck’s surprise. “You ever think about that, man? A big, strong alpha? One whose knot you can feel in you for days afterward?”

It’d been like that with Johnny. Not that he’d admit that to himself. He’d felt the ghost of his knot in him for days after. And not even his toys could make him feel as full as much as he’d tried.

And now he was going to knot someone else. He was going to knot Ten. It makes Mark itchy beyond comprehension.

Donghyuck blinks at him, taken back. Then he laughs. “Oh I get it now. You’re lonely for dick. Why didn’t you tell me? You know if you’re feeling that way again, I can help you out.”

Mark is tempted by the idea. Donghyuck had helped him through a heat or two before, with toys and his own hands. It’d been something they did for each other sometimes when they’d both been on their independent phase of not needing any stupid or big alphas to take care of them. They hadn’t done it in a while. And Mark was becoming needy to be touched much as he didn’t want to admit it. Even if Donghyuck was an omega didn’t mean it still wouldn’t feel good. Who cared for biology bullshit anyway?

“Maybe you can,” Mark admits, a little slurred. He calls for another shot from the bartender before looking back at Donghyuck. He wasn’t as big as Johnny, and wasn’t an alpha, but he wasn’t going to lie and say Donghyuck wasn’t attractive. If Johnny could knot someone else, why couldn’t he relieve his own stress?

Donghyuck smirks back at him. “Alright. First, let’s drink. I had a long ass day at work.”

“Okay,” Mark agrees happily, and Donghyuck starts complaining about a customer he’d had and the night passes in a blur. And Mark becomes aware of just how horny he exactly is the more he drinks.

Later, when they’re stumbling into his apartment and Donghyuck is biting at his lip trying to tease him, the both of them are pressed against the entrance hallway. The lights are off, but Mark doesn’t care. He’s whining eagerly into Donghyuck’s mouth as he tries to grind helplessly against him. He needed a touch. He needed more, and Donghyuck could give him that.

Donghyuck didn’t smell like an alpha, but that didn’t matter to him. He hadn’t been touched in a while. Not anything that’d satisfied him, anyway.

Donghyuck is just reaching down to palm at his cock through his jeans when the lights turn on around them. And Mark cries out as it burns his eyes. Suddenly Donghyuck pulls off of him. It’s a loss for a drunken horny Mark.

“Uh, guys?” Johnny’s clear voice cuts through the daze in his head, and Mark opens his eyes abruptly. Johnny is stood in the hallway, in a pair of sweats that hangs low on his hips and a casual t-shirt. His hair is mussed up as if he had been sleeping on it, his eyes wide and blinking at them as if not able to process what he’s seeing.

Mark’s eyes can’t help but drift to the tiny bit of skin exposed at Johnny’s navel where his sweats hang a little too low to be appropriate. And he swallows hard as he realizes what this looks like.

“Johnny hyung,” Donghyuck greets him, flushed from the alcohol and eager to break the tense silence. “I didn’t know you were, ah, home.”

“Yeah, I was just researching for this work thing,” Johnny replies. He seems hesitant to stare at Mark, but when he does something changes in his gaze. He watches as his brother’s shoulders stiffen slightly. “Have you been drinking, Markie?”

“Yes, many drinks,” Donghyuck answers for him, giggling a little. “Uh, hyung, sorry to bother you but—“

There’s a smell of something bitter in the air. It tastes almost burnt on his tongue, nearly overpowering. It takes Mark a moment to realize it’s coming from Johnny. But what’s confusing is that Johnny is merely smiling at them as if not bothered at all.

“Oh, sorry, I won’t bother you. I’ll go to my room,” Johnny says. And Mark can’t help but stare. Johnny’s eyes run over him from head to toe nonchalantly, before he’s looking away like he hadn’t done it at all. As if Mark was a mere piece of furniture. He leaves, and Mark watches him go silently.

“Geez, is your brother mad at us?” Donghyuck asks once he’s gone. “He’s not one of those alphas that hates omegas together, right?”

Mark is at a loss for words.

“No,” he says numbly. “No, he isn’t. Think he’s just, ah, in a bad mood.”

“I thought so,” Donghyuck replies before looking at him. “He smelled like it. C’mon, I don’t wanna fuck out here. Not where he can hear us.”

Mark lets him tug him towards his bedroom, something ugly curdling in his stomach. He can’t quite figure out what it is. But Donghyuck is kissing him as he’s being thrown onto the bed and he can’t argue against that. Even if in the back of his head he wonders if Johnny can hear his moans all the way across the apartment when Donghyuck pulls them out of him.

~

The next morning, Donghyuck leaves early to go over to his own place to change for work and shower. He kisses Mark before he leaves, and Mark feels like it’s been branded on him when he comes across Johnny in the kitchen. Except Johnny doesn’t even look at him.

“Coffee?” Johnny asks when he sees Mark come in. His voice is casual, blank. It’s all he says as he pours a cup for himself and Mark. Mark hesitantly agrees, and his brother hands one over to him indifferently. Like he was just another stranger instead of his brother who he’d known for all his life.

It stuns Mark. He sees the way Johnny doesn’t once glance at him, and it has him pausing. They weren’t like this. He’d never done this to him before even when he’d brought that random alpha over.

“Sorry for, uh, last night,” he tries weakly like it’ll make it any better. “I honestly didn’t know you were home.”

Johnny just sighs at him. “It’s not a problem if you bring people over, Mark,” he says. But the thing is he’s wrong. Mark feels like he does have a problem with it. Only Johnny sounds cold and tired as if he didn’t. “I was just not in a great mood last night. Honestly, it’s not up to me to judge who you sleep with.”

“Even if it’s Donghyuck?” Mark asks curiously. He just wanted Johnny to look at him once. Because the way he’d looked at Mark carelessly last night had driven him to nearly beg for Donghyuck to make him forget about it. “It’s not like a serious thing. Between me and him, I mean. He and I just do that when one of us just gets like too lonely.”

There’s a frown on Johnny’s face from where he isn’t facing Mark. Instead, he’s staring at his coffee cup. “Lonely?” He asks, sounding like his voice gets caught in his throat. “Was that why you—Never mind. This isn’t my business.” He clears his throat. He grabs his coffee as he strolls out of the kitchen, not sparing him a glance. “There’s breakfast if you want some.”

It feels like a dismissal. Mark watches him go again with forlorn eyes.

Why does he feel like he’s done something wrong here?

~

There’s so many things pulling him in so many directions that Mark is half certain he’ll be stretched apart and ripped in half before he knows it. There’s just so much. Too much for him to balance all of it. So many things running through his mind at all times that he’s half frazzled by the time he goes into work and doesn’t even notice that there’s a strange smell in the air. Not until Ten is talking away to him as usual and he bumps into Mark onto accident, and it hits him. Preheat. The scent of preheat. It’s coming from Ten.

It’s coming already.

After Ten apologizes to him and Mark tells him it’s fine, nothing is fine. Because he recognizes that if he can already smell Ten’s heat approaching, he has no time left. He’ll be with Johnny soon in no time by how strong Mark can smell it on him.

It sends him into an outright panic that he ends up having to take a break outside just to calm down.

“Stop it,” he whispers to himself in the back alley of their shop, the door closed and no one around to thankfully hear him. “Stop it.”

It takes him a while to gather himself. But he does. And the first thing he does when he comes in is ask Ten when Yukhei will get back.

“Yukhei?” Ten startles. “Why do you ask? He won’t come back for a week.”

Mark feels like the worst person to ever exist asking it. But he can’t stop himself. He sees Ten, and thinks of Johnny. Johnny knotting him. And he hates it. It’s only the guilt that’s the barest thing from holding back and asking if Yukhei can come back any earlier. So Ten won't need Johnny anymore.

“Oh,” he responds. Then he smiles sheepishly. “I was just wondering. I miss him.”

“Aw, you should tell him that,” Ten coos. “I know he’d love to hear it. I’ve been telling him to use his phone more.”

Mark merely sits there and smiles nodding. Maybe he is nothing but a dirty liar, he thinks as he walks home from work later. It’d be something he’d have to add to his list. Someone who’d slept with his brother, and a guilty liar on top of that. Somehow they just seemed to keep piling up these days.

When he gets home, he just buries himself in a blanket on the couch, turns on a random show and lets himself become a vegetable. He thinks he deserves it. Maybe he’d stop feeling this way if he just slept it away. Watched tv until nothing else was in his head but some trash show and whatever else. It sounded like a good idea. Watch tv until the thought of Ten and Johnny floated away like a mere balloon.

He’s on a second season of a show he and Johnny had watched the other night when Johnny comes home and finds him. “What are you doing? You don’t even look like you can breathe in that,” he comments in exasperation as he promptly walks over to Mark and pulls the blanket off around his head. And Mark can’t do anything but stare up at him.

The sight of Johnny tore at him. He just looks away back to the tv.

His own brother and he felt like he couldn’t bear looking at him.

“Hey, are you alright? You look pale,” Johnny says. He leans down to rest a hand against Mark’s forehead and frowns down at him. Mark’s body stiffens under it. “Why aren’t you saying anything?”

“Leave me be,” Mark finally whispers miserably. “I like it like this.” He pulls the blanket right back around his head where it felt safer around him. He felt like the world couldn’t reach him in it. But his brother was bothering him like always.

“What does that mean? Have you eaten?” Johnny asks, worried. When Mark doesn’t answer him, he sighs wearily. “Mark, I thought you ate breakfast.”

It’s well past into the evening now. They are both aware of this as the nearby window is dark outside and the lights around Mark are on. He doesn’t mention it still. Just lays there and refuses to look at Johnny.

“I ate enough,” he mutters, wishing he would go away. He had a bad day already and Johnny was relentless when he knew Mark was in a bad mood. He wouldn’t leave him alone until he was feeling better, unfortunately. But Mark didn’t want that like he usually did. He wanted to be miserable and lie in his blankets.

“I’m getting you something to eat,” Johnny just tells him firmly. Leaving him no room to argue. He just walks into the kitchen and eventually comes back with a steaming bowl of soup. It suspiciously looks like canned soup.

Mark has no choice but to sit up and grab it once Johnny holds it out to him. He can’t help but at least appreciate how hot it is. He slurps it down as Johnny watches, and his brother sounds satisfied when he takes his bowl away with a hum once he’s finished. Mark wonders if he’s always done things like this. Taken care of Mark. And he finds that his mind tells him he always has.

“If we’re doing this, let’s not fight over blankets,” Johnny claims once he comes back with another blanket, settling next to him with ease. “You know, since you like to hog all of the blanket.”

It suddenly feels so domestic then, how Mark realizes this is probably what most alphas do. He doesn’t know why it occurs to him. But it does. When he’d popped over to Taeyong and Jaehyun’s place, he noticed Jaehyun had done a lot of what Johnny did sometimes. But Jaehyun was an alpha in a committed relationship. That was different—Johnny was his brother. It was a bad idea to get those two things muddled with each other. A very bad idea indeed. Possibly disastrous.

“So are you gonna tell me what’s wrong or do I have to guess?”

“Johnny,” Mark cracks then. “I can’t talk about it with you. It’s weird.” And not to mention wrong in so many ways.

“Mark, you know I don’t care about weird. We’ve been past that ever since that time I heard you singing Blackpink in the shower.”

Mark stares at him in mortification. “You didn’t tell me about that.”

“I didn’t want to embarrass you. But it was pretty funny. Anyway, my point is you know none of that matters to me.”

Something in Mark crumples at Johnny’s voice. He keeps his voice steady as he clenches his jaw. “I don’t know. It’s just something I heard today.”

“At work?”

If Mark scoots away from Johnny a little, Johnny doesn’t say anything. But it’s awkward.

“Yeah.”

“Am I gonna have to guess what it is?”

It comes out of him with a sigh. “I heard you’re helping Ten out with his heat.” There, he’s said it. Now it’s out of him.

Johnny doesn’t answer him for a few long moments. He’s pretty sure he’s weirded out his brother, and the careful way Johnny speaks says. Well, a lot. “I am. He told you about that?”

Hearing it out of Johnny’s mouth is even worse. Mark swallows hard as he just lays on his side and away from him. He felt cold even in his thick blanket.

“He did.” It comes out dull.

“Mark, if it bothers you I can just spend it at his place,” Johnny eventually states. “I’m sorry. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

Mark isn’t comfortable with any of it, actually. There’s an awful feeling budding in his stomach and chest that he doesn’t like. But instead he just shakes his head and stares ahead at the muted show on the tv. “It’s fine. Really.”

“You’re sure?”

“Johnny. I kinda wanna sleep, dude. No offense but I’m tired.”

Johnny just gets out an okay to him and lays his own blanket on him, getting off the couch to go into the kitchen for something to drink. There’s nothing that feels brotherly about the way Mark aches looking at his tall figure as he walks away from him. And it’s a very scary thought. That Johnny is going to bring Ten over to their apartment and Mark can’t do anything about it but lie miserably on the couch.

Johnny didn’t belong to him. He knew that. There was no way he’d ever belong to Mark. That was out of the question.

Neither of them belonged to each other. It was nonsense. Still, he wallows in his spot on the couch despite knowing that.

~

The next night, Mark has become desperate. He’s too tense, too worked up with all these emotions running through him. He’s never thought of himself as insatiable. But that’s what it feels like as he’s riding his toy with tears in his eyes in his bed, coming all over himself as he closes his eyes and tries to imagine it’s a real knot. But it’s still just plastic, true frustration rising in his tears as he collapses back on his mattress. It was no use. No use when he’s still aching inside for more.

It’s embarrassing. Mark even cries into his sheets as he takes the toy out of him, feeling empty. Not sated. His omega in him is demanding more. But it’s not even his heat. It’s unfair that he’s this needy.

It’s unfair that he can’t get the only thing his body wants.

He slips on one of his bigger shirts in his frustration, one that hangs over his thighs, lost. It’s not until he’s standing at Johnny’s door that he even realizes where he is.

The door opening is what wakes Johnny up as he sits up slowly in his blankets and at where Mark has approached his bed. He stands there, unsure. But this is where he should be. “Mark?” Johnny asks sleepily, rubbing at his eyes to squint at him. He’s shirtless. And that’s all that matters to Mark.

His tears are wet on his face as he climbs onto the bed to Johnny’s shock, taking in how broad Johnny’s shoulders are and where the sheets dip at his waist. He smells right to Mark. So good that he doesn’t care for once what he’s doing. The smell of warm coffee is in his nose and it’s bliss. He needs that scent. He tries not to shake taking it all in.

“Mark, what are you doing?” Johnny asks quickly. But Mark doesn’t care.

He sits himself on Johnny’s lap, the alpha gasping under him once it becomes obvious he’s not wearing anything other than his shirt. Johnny is staring at him with wide eyes.

“I can’t sleep,” Mark confesses in a thin voice as he desperately pulls the sheets off of Johnny. “I can’t sleep without a knot, hyung.”

Johnny sucks in such a sharp breath that he sounds like he’s nearly lost all his air. He doesn’t move as Mark finally gets his hands on his boxers, only seeming to snap into action once he realizes what is happening.

“No—we can’t,” he breathes out. His hands try to stop Mark from peeling off his boxers. “What has gotten into you?”

Mark feels about ready to cry. Did Johnny not want him? Did he not want him anymore? When he begins crying and has to hold it in, Johnny panics and tries to shush him by holding him.

“Shh, it’s okay, it’s okay,” he ushers. But it’s not what Mark wants.

“Need you,” he whimpers. It’s the first honest thing he’s admitted in days, and he finds every part of him chorusing with it. “I—Need your cock, Johnny. Please.”

There was time to be guilty later. But now, now he just pulls up his shirt over his head and brings one of Johnny’s hands to his hole, shivering when he feels his fingers brush his sensitive rim. Lets him feel where he’s wet and ready for him. He’d been thinking of Johnny when he’d used his toy. How big he had been.

“This isn’t right,” Johnny whispers, sounding wrecked. He groans when Mark pushes one of his fingers inside of him, something that has Mark biting his lip in relief. “Oh god. You’re so wet.”

Mark whines a little when Johnny’s fingers slide deeper in him. His fingers were much longer and bigger than his. Johnny’s hands were a dream. He cries out when Johnny stretches his fingers skillfully and hits his prostate right on. He’s collapsing into Johnny’s arms and laying his head on his shoulder as he tries to roll his hips for more. Every point where Johnny touched him felt sinfully good.

“Only you make me wet like this,” he moans out. There’s slick coming out of him from where he was already wet with lube from earlier. “Only you.”

It was true. With Donghyuck, he’d made a little slick. But with Johnny, he can’t control it. It comes out of him like no other.

“Mark, this is so wrong,” Johnny murmurs against his lips even before Mark kisses him. He moans into their kiss when Mark tries to palm at his cock, and Mark almost wants to preen at it. He wants Mark. Mark can make him feel good. He can be good for him. He’d never need to look anywhere else, Mark could do that for him. He could be a good omega for him.

It takes only a second before Johnny’s cock is freed and Mark pulls his fingers out of him. When he sits himself down on his cock, it’s half hard. But it’s still glorious.

“Oh, fuck,” Johnny curses as Mark begins working himself on his cock, breathless. It feels like coming home. Johnny is already panting as Mark tries to make it good for him, coaxing him to a full hardness. Grinding himself on his hips as he lets go.

“So big,” he whines out. Finally relieved with the feel of a real alpha cock inside him. “The—biggest I’ve ever had.”

“Yeah?” Johnny grunts back at him. It thrills him to hear how deep his voice has gone. Like before. When his cock twitches inside Mark, he reaches out to run a hand over Mark’s belly and chest. As if he can’t resist touching him. “Mark. Oh my god. Jesus fuck.”

Mark understands how he feels. He could sit like this for hours. Johnny’s cock stretches him out wonderfully. He hums out dazedly as he draws up so high just the tip is inside of him. Then when he slams back down Johnny outright moans.

It makes Mark hot in his skin.

“Tell me only I get this knot,” he can’t help but say once their groans and the sound of skin slapping skin fills the room. He works up a good pace, watches Johnny melt under him. Feels the weight of Johnny under him. “Please. This cock is only—“ He gasps out as Johnny’s cock hits his prostate. Everything goes blurry for a moment. “Mine. Only mine.”

Johnny takes a moment to answer, biting his lip so hard his lip goes white. “You know I can’t say that.”

It hurts. Mark knows why he won’t say it. It’s too wrong of a thing to say out loud. Probably wrong in so many ways. But he wants to hear it. The thought of Ten doing this—sitting on Johnny’s cock like _this_ , gets him so passionately angry that he starts grinding on the cock in him harder. He had no right. Not when his omega wanted Johnny to only want him.

He _needed_ Johnny. And he wasn’t going to pretend otherwise anymore. He wanted him.

“Say it,” he pleads.

“Babe,“ Johnny breathes out. “I can’t.”

That breaks something in Mark. Tears rise in his eyes again as he stops where he’s joined with Johnny and stares at him. “Why? You don’t want me? I’m not a good enough omega for you?”

The sound of Mark’s pitiful sad voice has Johnny rushing to kiss him and soothe him. “No, no, you’re perfect,” he utters. “You’re beautiful. So beautiful.”

Mark sniffles, pleased and trying to wipe at his eyes. It’s with a last kiss from Johnny that he continues riding him again, and it feels kind of intimate in a way he hadn’t expected. Johnny’s pressing kisses into his shoulder as he runs a hand through Johnny’s hair, feeling comforted. And content in a way he hasn’t in a long time.

“My knot,” he hisses out in a moan. And listens to the bed squeak under them as he tugs at Johnny’s hair. “Mine, Johnny.”

He starts to ride him faster, picking up his rhythm. He doesn’t give Johnny any room to protest as he presses their mouths together fiercely, eyes fluttering when Johnny begins to hit his prostate over and over. Finally, he can’t take it at one point. He’s close, crying out as Johnny begins to meet him halfway. It makes him fuck harder into Mark. Just as good as he’d remembered.

It’s so good that Mark’s mouth falls open, nearly boneless. If it weren’t for Johnny’s arms around him, he’d collapse into the sheets. Johnny leans forward to lick into his mouth and it’s so wet and hot that Mark is helpless against it.

“I’m gonna come,” he gets out in a whimper. He reaches up to wrap a hand around his cock, just to get even closer to that edge, only for Johnny to slap his hand away.

“No.” Johnny practically growls at him. “You can come on my cock. I know you can.”

Mark cries out as he fights to resist touching himself, a torture he didn’t think he’d ever experience. But he’s so turned on by the hardness in Johnny’s voice that he spurts precome all over himself.

He nods frantically back at him, and Johnny seems to glow with pride. He reaches out to suck another mark into Mark’s neck, playing with one of his nipples with a sneaky hand. And Mark begins to squirm once he moans out loudly, body growing overwhelmed. He was so close, Johnny’s cock going so deep in him, his breath catching more—

“Johnny,” he gasps out. And he clenches around him, whining. “I’m—I’m—“

He’s cut off by a flustered groan from Johnny. His knot begins to swell up in him then, and Mark lets out the most desperate noise. He shakes, wanting it so bad in him. He about goes crazy trying to get it deeper in him.

“Come for me,” Johnny whispers to him then. And then Mark’s body tenses up as he comes, voice broken. A heaving sob comes out of him once he’s coming down from his orgasm, the knot in him growing and making him twitch in sheer desire. Once it pops, he thinks he’s still coming. He’s not sure. He’s not sure of anything but Johnny’s knot in him.

_Finally,_ a part of him sighs triumphantly.

He becomes lucid enough to get a glimpse of Johnny’s face as he comes too. His eyebrows are twisted in pleasure, his mouth parted as he thrusts his knot up even more into Mark unconsciously. Like he can’t resist it. He’s as settled as firmly as he can be in Mark and Mark loves it. He doesn’t want to be anywhere else. This is where he should be.

This was what he needed.

Johnny’s eyes open then, laying on him with a hooded look. It has shivers running through Mark at the pure heat of it. He grips Mark closer, moaning. “You feel amazing.”

Mark’s lips curl up at that, in some kind of proud smile. It’s probably twisted, but he had never felt happier hearing that. He kisses Johnny again. “Never felt anyone as good as you,” he admits, clenching testingly around the knot at his rim and finding it thick in him. He lets out a content sigh. “I love your knot.”

Johnny laughs softly, sounding dazed. “I got that from the way you kind of trapped me.”

Mark ignores him to close his eyes at the feel of Johnny’s come spurting in him again. Filling him, sating him. He could probably die happy with the knot in him. He loved having it in. He could finally rest now that he didn’t feel so empty.

If he cuddles himself into Johnny further, he doesn’t mention it. But Johnny does pull him backwards gently onto the bed onto his side, careful of where they’re still connected. Once Mark reaches a hand down to touch at where Johnny’s knot is still in him, he smiles with satisfaction.

“Round two?” Johnny asks hopefully, but Mark is tired. He’s just came twice, once from his toy and once from Johnny fucking his brains out thoroughly, and he closes his eyes and just snuggles into Johnny’s chest. It’s nice and comfortable.

“I’m tired,” he moans out instead. “You can fuck me in the morning.” He isn’t too out of it to not hear the sound of Johnny choking as air catches in his throat.

“Mark, you didn’t say you were sleeping here,” he hears just as he passes out. “Mark?”

Mark is already too busy drifting off in his arms to answer.


End file.
